A beginner's guide to Bangalore traffic

Work brought me to the startup city - Bangalore, more than a year ago and it has been a love - hate relationship ever since.
Love for the amazing food, the lush greens and the humble Bangaloreans.
Hate (a strong term) for the punctual post-working hours weekend rains and not to mention the countless hours stuck in traffic.
To put these hours to some good use and to provide fellow traffic- bearers with some solace, I decided to pen down a few pearls of wisdom( if you may ) !

Beware of Indicas( mostly cabs) and vehicles with yellow number plates. They do not bow down to lowly traffic rules. It is also their personal responsibility to improve fellow riders driving skills-  be it through driving at a hair widths distance - if you enter a one-way by mistake , through honking like there is no tomorrow - if you are not responsive enough to the green light or
through changing lanes faster than a two- wheeler - to improve your peripheral vision and response rate.
Also, slow claps for opening the door mid- ride to spit gutkha !!

To add to the obstacle race, we have cows. Found especially in gallis that you take to avoid the routine traffic, they are living proof of karma that exists in the universe.
They are generally found in groups of three, with no owner around. Devise your path strategically so as to not come within one- arm distance of any of them. Do not underestimate the sitting/shitting cow.

Every other road in Bangalore is a one way and every other bike rider is restless.
I often come across these dudes, driving at crazy speeds in the opposite side of a one- way with such confidence that I wonder if I am the one at fault here.
Also, on a side note, two- wheeler indicators without buzzers - no one takes you seriously. In case of a fight, please do not point at the indicator, makes no sense!

If you are returning late night once the traffic has subsided, be prepared for man's not so best friend - dog. Dogs rule the roads at night. Be prepared for mild to loud group howling if you are on a two- wheeler. Some form a sort of relay to announce your arrival to other dogs in the locality. The key is to not make eye contact with them and move at your regular pace.
The ones I have encountered would have made great bullies at school, they sense fear even before you feel it.

All said, I have met some sweet souls who have restored my faith in humanity - the fellow colleague who maneuvered my vehicle out of a tough spot and said, ' Thank god, you don't drive a Bullet' or the stranger who reminded me to wear my helmet at a traffic signal, the city is full of surprises.
I have come to believe it is in the interest of everyone that you accept . Accept that the lane you are in will move the slowest, accept that the traffic light will turn red just as you were about to zoom off , accept that it will pour the moment you step out of office and you will never find that perfect parking spot.
It never hurts to show someone a little empathy- maybe the guy who is honking madly has spent the last 2 hours without moving an inch or the lady struggling to park could do without your 'women-should-not-be-allowed- to-drive' look.